5 of the worst pizza toppings ever

It would be a great pizza to hide in a dark room or to use in some sort of optical illusion, but for dinner? Not really. Also, a regular pizza can get a little messy, especially when shared with friends, but you’ll find that no amount of napkins will be enough to remove the dark black ink stains from your fingers and mouth. . And while you go to the garage to get the turpentine to clean up, your party guests are all sneaking home or to the hospital. Very Un-Cowabunga!

Divorce papers


Settled in your brand new houseboat, with your brand new identity, all you want to do is enjoy a hot, nerdy dinner. A desire that, at the sound of your door, is about to come true! You answer the door, your pizza bib already securely tied around your neck. You notice that the pizza delivery guy definitely looks louder and gruffer than usual, but that’s probably due to the economy. You have pizza to worry about! “You have been served,” he tells you. Curious choice of phrase, but precise nonetheless! You thank him and tip him with a generous handful of change and salted taffy.

But when you open that box, you’re in for a nasty surprise: Baked in the middle of the mozzarella are the charred corners of a manila envelope containing the divorce papers you’ve been trying to avoid for months! Even after draining your bank account and paying for a legal name change, those chickens still came home to roost, right next to the crispy bacon you ordered. Well, it’s time to set sail!